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Take me home

November 8, 2012

ALVAREZ

 

REBECCA ALVAREZ
News Editor

 

I’m finally ready to go home.

 

Finals are just around the corner and I can say I am ready to visit home for the first time in months.

 

It’s been four months since I last visited my family in El Paso, Texas, but until this week, I had not been looking forward to going home for some time — not even during the summer.

 

Near the end of last school year, I felt indifferent toward going home for the summer. This was a drastic change in attitude from being homesick every day through the middle of my sophomore year. In my eyes, I was a 19-year-old baby.

 

Every time we would near a break from school I could not wait to hop on a plane or put the pedal to the metal to make my way home. There was nothing I wanted more. Everything is so different here in Louisiana — culture shock at its finest. Nothing in Louisiana is even close to similar to the people and culture in El Paso, so I would take in as much of the Sun City as I possibly could.

 

Time would fly and as I would be packing my bags to return to good old “Rustown,” my heart would work its way up to my throat, and I would constantly try to hold back a stream of tears. It was an end-of-break ritual, but last Christmas was actually the last time it found its place on my itinerary.

 

When the next break came around, I found myself between a rock and a hard spot: I didn’t want to go home. It carried over to the summer when I decided I was not going to go home and instead I stayed to get a class or two out of the way, and I didn’t miss it once. I visited home at two different points of the summer for a week, and it was just the right amount of time.

 

It was very odd to me, to say the least. I probably tried to analyze the situation more than I should have, but I finally came to realize I had become comfortable in Ruston and dare I say it — Louisiana.

 

I still cannot say when the turning point was. All I know is when it comes down to packing my bags to go home, my friends and my daily routine are what tug at me when I ask myself what I will miss while I am gone. Maybe the sensation of finally being completely independent — being able to live without anyone watching and criticizing your every move — was what helped me get over being homesick. Going home meant I would have to check with family plans to make sure I spent as much time with them as possible, since that was the whole point of visiting home, and that was compromising my independence. I convinced myself that time away from home would be good for my family and me, and I was right. Now, I am finally looking forward to a visit.

 

So after my final Wednesday afternoon, I know I will not reluctantly pack my bags, nor will I anxiously stuff my bag. Instead, I know I will pack my bag with a light heart and a smile. I am now 20 years old, after all.

 

Rebecca Alvarez is a junior journalism major from El Paso, Texas who serves as a news editor editor for The Tech Talk. Email comments to rha014@latech.edu.

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