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Koozies for floozies

April 3, 2014

Cody Sexton
Entertainment Editor

 

At first I thought it was just our elders who could not be trusted with social media. Multiple scandals involving celebrities’ nude photos and my grandparents’ inability to properly post to Facebook have proven it time and time again.

 

However, with the help of the Twitter account OldRow, millennials are proving their decision-making skills are on par with Anthony Weiner.

SEXTON

SEXTON

 

OldRow is run by an anonymous source who posts screenshots from Snapchats he receives to Twitter. The posts highlight all the stereotypes the South has to offer including ignorance, racism, debauchery and distaste for anything progressive.

 

The account is prominently known for posting naked photos of Southern college girls who willingly submit them in hopes of getting a free beer koozie. Now I love when a woman embraces her sexuality and I am avidly against slut-shaming, but let’s not try to dress this up as feminism.

 

Obviously, the girls who submit these photos are not bright — not just because they are willingly sending nude photos of themselves, but they are bragging about it by posting pictures of their koozies. We all know how you got it.

 

Not only have these girls dented my trust for the South, but also they have made it impossible for anyone to comfortably scroll through Twitter in class.

 

What shocked me most about some of the photos of students in Greek organizations is how many of them partake in drug usage. I had no idea Greeks were so into drugs, and honestly I am impressed.

 

The way OldRow makes it look when they are not out buying Nike shorts and Sperry’s they apparently are snorting lines of cocaine and dealing dime bags of weed. For guys who dress every day like they are on a fishing trip or it is Easter, they seem to be wilder than I first thought.

 

Personally, my favorite tweets are the “Shacker Sunday” posts. These picture girls in compromising positions after a night with a guy with captions like “Leave” or “Get out.” Nothing goes better with a hangover than scrolling through pictures of girls I know will regret their previous night than I will.

 

The entire concept of OldRow is ridiculous and makes it appear the South lacks the necessary faculties required to ever “rise again,” but I’d be lying if I did not say nothing has given me more school pride in my four years here than seeing posts from Louisiana Tech University on OldRow.

 

Cody Sexton is a senior journalism major from Seattle who serves as entertainment editor for The Tech Talk. Email comments to cls068@latech.edu.

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One Response to Koozies for floozies

  1. Amanda Chang Reply

    April 3, 2014 at 3:50 pm

    I don’t understand the point you’re trying to make in this article. If sarcasm is supposed to be inferred through the argument points you don’t do a good job of it. Furthermore, your use of double negatives coupled with an embarrassing amount of spelling errors makes this look like a high school freshmen’s first draft for his or her entry level journalism class. If this is the type of journalistic excellence being pumped out by LA Tech on a yearly basis then I sincerely question your editors’ and professors’ abilities to instill quality content over opinionated garbage.

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