FROM THE SPORTS DESK: In My Sports America

February 25, 2010

by Angela Groce

My former boss, intern adviser at ESPN 97.7 Radio, coined a phrase over the airways one afternoon two summers ago as Team USA basketball was about to play Spain in the gold medal round of the Beijing Olympics in 2008. Sean Fox said that in his America, Team USA rules with an iron fist and dominates in every sport of the Olympics. While the national anthem played in the background, he continued his rant on of how his America would be.

So here is my inspiration for my final column as sports editor under the glorious inscription of page 10. I?will tell you what I would want in my America. In the perfect sports setting what my dream of America would resemble. Fox, in all respects, here is my America:

In my America, the sport of curling becomes a national pastime with the likes of soccer and baseball.

In my America, the salaries for baseball players are capped to solve the national debt problem.

In my America, the name Tiger Woods is never mentioned in the media outside these two words, golf and the Masters.

Tim Tebow is a well-bloosmed NFL quarterback, who leads the Detroit Lions to their first ever Super Bowl victory. Hah! Okay, I can dream, too.

In my America, the BCS is buried along with the healthcare plan, as we instigate a college football playoff system.

In my America, I host the ESPY’s every year.

In my America, Danica Patrick stops driving cars and continues her illustrious career as the ridiculous “Go Daddy” commercial career woman.

In my America, LSU?never wins. Ever.

In my America, Brett Favre actually retires from the game of football.

In my America, the United States wins every Olympic event in London in 2012, leaving the British with a lot of fish and chips.

In my America, the NFL is run by a woman, possibly named Condoleeza Rice or Giselle Bundchen. Wouldn’t you guys wish?

In my America, the Cubs win a world series, at least once.

In my America, hockey, soccer, bowling and rowing become forgotten pasttimes.

In my America, Chris Paul leads the Hornets to a NBA title while putting up 50 on Kobe.

In my America, Tech has trophy cases bigger than Lebron James’s house.

In my America, the Big 10 and ACC are eliminated from playing football.

In my America, the land of the free and the home of the brave, we can freely enjoy the comforts of never washing the lucky jersey.

We can go to a sporting event without having to pay for a child’s college education to do so. The Bulldog nation is revered as the untainted megaplex of all things glorious in college sports. In this beloved America, the dreams of those who dare to be like the greats of Muhammed Ali, Mary Lou Retton, Bo Jackson, Wayne Gretzky and Michael Jordan can so be if they choose. This is a great land full of wonder and majesty. And a girl can always watch a little Sportscenter.

In my America, everything is just as it should be. Perfect in the mind of those who love this great world I call sports. So with this last bit of my dream world, I bid you goodbye for a final curtain call on my column.

As always and until next time: God is great, sports are good and being a Bulldog is for life.

Angela Groce is a junior journalism major who serves as sports editor for The Tech Talk. E-mail comments to acg022@latech.edu.