He Say, She Say Forum addresses taboo topics

November 4, 2010

by Haley Kraemer, Staff Reporter

“Why are guys so obsessed with long hair on girls?” and other burning questions regarding sexuality, relationships and status were answered and discussed last Thursday at the ninth annual He Say, She Say Forum sponsored by the Society of Distinguished Black Women, Inc.

The anonymous, pre-submitted questions were broadly discussed, and Etoya Barner, a senior marketing major, president of the society, said she hopes the forum cleared up a lot of the “he say, she say” among males and females. 

After the panel of two faculty members commented, male audience members answered why guys are obsessed with long hair. They said females can do many different looks with long hair. It can be pushed to the side, fingers can slide through it, and it accentuates the face.

The question, “Why are women never on time?” was presented to the panel and audience. 

Student panel member Lamont Windom, a senior business and administration major, said, “It is all about women’s hair, clothes and makeup. It all has to do with their appearance when they leave a room.”

Faculty panel member Beverly Maggio, a dance instructor, responded women are late because they are nervous or eager to impress that special guy.

“They are doing more to themselves to take the time to look good,” she said.

Some questions sparked debate between men and women including the question, “Why do women always say they want a good, sweet man, but then they go to a bad man stereotype?”

Maggio said being tough and macho does not make you a real man.

“In my opinion, a gentleman is a real man who will go down to protect their girl,” she said. “They need to have a side to be a gentleman and a side to be a stud.”

A female audience member thought women wanted the bad men they see on television, and a male audience member noted you do not have to be a bad man all of the time.

“Be emotional when you need to be emotional, and be a man when you need to be a man,” the male said.

 “Why is it so easy for a black guy to get a white girl and hard for a white guy to get a black girl?” was another question that sparked much discussion.

Student panel member Jessica Hill, a senior psychology major, said she once dated a white guy, and she admired his confidence. 

She said her parents would be accepting if she brought home a white man, but they would worry about the ridicule she may endure from others because they do not want to see her struggle for acceptance.

 Candace Harris, a senior family and child studies major, said she values the opinions of people like Hill who have been through the experience they are speaking about. She also said they should have had a bigger panel in order to represent people who have had specific experiences.

 “For instance, they should have had a gay panel member to relate to the question, ‘Why is it okay for women to like women, but not for men to like men,'” Harris said. 

She said there were no gays to add expertise to this answer, and she would have liked to hear their response.

 “This is why it is good to come back each year because it is a different forum,” she said. “Each generation is going to have different views, and the younger generations are more accepting than the older generations.”

Christopher Taylor, a senior computer science major, said friends encouraged him to attend the forum because they thought it would be something he would enjoy.

 “They were correct because I like to have discussions,” he said. “I want to be right. So, I listen to people to see whether I am or not.”

Also, he said he was impressed that people acted mature, and the debate did not get heated.

Taylor said, “Though, I think it would be better if there was a pre-prepared list of questions to have a variety of topics because many of the questions touched on the same issue.”

E-mail comments to hek002@latech.edu.