Seeing the sky, blue, sky

October 31, 2007

by Jess Peregoy

My mother is happy I’m depressed. That really sounds awful, doesn’t it? Let me explain.

She says it’s a good thing when people get depressed, even if they don’t know why, because it’s us telling ourselves that something’s not right and it’s time to do something about it.

I guess it’s time.

My mom has been helping people through their roughest times for years professionally, but for me she’s done it for the last 22 years. She’s always been right about everything from the time she told me I’d get my sister back one day for picking on me; all the way up until just a few moments ago as she helped me dig through this mental mess I’ve made for myself.

She gives advice and then she sits back and lets me get on with it, just as she sat back and watched me finally get my sister back when I pinned her down and gave her a taste of her own medicine.

She knows what she’s talking about; I’ll take her word for it.

Depression isn’t something to sweep under the rug and try not to think about. That’s a good way to have things blow up in your face and create more problems than what was there to begin with.

It’s OK and, quite honestly, it’s natural. The sweet is never as sweet without the sour, right?

Life isn’t easy for anyone. Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking they have it all figured out because the minute you think you’ve gotten everything right is the minute you give up.

However, not dealing with yourself in a healthy manner is giving up just as easily. I’ve watched people turn to drugs and take it out on themselves and people closest to them. I’ve watched many people self-destruct, but more importantly, I’ve watched people re-build themselves.

Depression is so inaccessible it’s hard for us to figure it out. We see the clouds rolling in and we can’t do anything about it, or so we think.

In an interview with Jeff Tweedy about his own mental demons, he said, “What people do so much – and what the record is getting at – is that people have trouble seeing past that chaos to the blue sky that’s always there, even when it’s cloudy. Speaking from my own experience, that’s the part that gets very upsetting, debilitating and frustrating about depression. You know it’s there, but you don’t have access to it. In a lot of ways that image says to me, ‘This too shall pass.’ You can find that blue sky if you want.”

He couldn’t be more right. It gets really difficult to see the light sometimes, but it’s always there.

And my mom is right too. Depression isn’t a bad thing if you know how to handle it.
You’re going to be OK; the sun will shine once again.